Why I WILL Run Another Marathon

When I was in school, I never settled for mediocrity.  I had to have the highest grades, be the most involved, etc. I just needed to be in charge.  I never did anything halfway.  I never settled for average.   

I wanted to be a star.

I would only do things if I could be the star; or be the best there was.

A lot of that still rings true for me today. However, in life, career, and relationships, its not always so easy.  You don’t get a letter grade, or a gold star,  or a check mark next to each thing you need to do. You can try to rise above mediocrity by comparing yourself to others. But no matter what, there will always be people that have it better than you and those who have it worse than you.  There will always be people that have more than you and those who have less than you.

I am truly learning to be happy with myself, my life, my achievements, and my belongings – instead of comparing myself to those of others.

However, if I do want to be the best, and I still need to get those “gold stars,” why not compare myself….to myself?

This is why I will run another marathon.

Yes, it’s a huge accomplishment to TRY to run a marathon and to FINISH a marathon.  But for someone who is always looking for that A+ grade and that 4.0 GPA, and that pat on the back for a job well done, simply finishing a marathon (in seven hours) is not exactly the most pride-inducing feat.

I’ve convinced myself that I am proud of it. And I do proudly say that I did or completed the New York City marathon – but I never say that I ran it. I always include a caveat that I “hobbled” it because I truly hobbled through the last ten miles. Besides, I wouldn’t change the experience of it for anything, because it’s something I did with my sister.  

But seven hours…I have to do better and I can do better.  I’ve learned a lot from my first marathon experience.  SO I am putting it out there right now.:

I will run another marathon.

And this time, I will run it.  If I walk part of the way, so be it.  But I will run the majority of it.

Pregnancy and RA

When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis three years ago at age 31, all of the doctors asked how old I was and if I was planning on having children. Up to that point, my husband and I hadn't really thought too much about it. Dealing with RA and all of the lovely medications associated with it really made us stop and think about what we wanted to do. After much research (aside from talking to others with RA and reading as much as I could online, I also read this book) and discussion, we decided to go for it.

Last summer, I stopped taking Methotrexate and then met with a high-risk obstetrician to go over my condition and list of medications. His conclusion was that my case was not high-risk (phew!) and that hopefully my RA would get better during pregnancy. With that huge weight off of our shoulders, my husband and I had to really decide if we were going to go through with it. Like, for real.

We finally decided that yes, we wanted to have a family, and we had better get started. My rheumatologist said I could stay on Humira until we had conceived. So, now here we are at 22 weeks. Things have been going fairly well. I had the usual bouts of nausea and extreme fatigue early on, but that has mostly subsided. Now, I'm left with "normal" RA fatigue. My obstetrician said I could still take my NSAID (Indocin) through the end of the second trimester. However, at my last prenatal visit, some fluid level was a little low, so they asked me to stop taking it. This wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that I have been feeling pretty bad for the past two weeks. Luckily, I had an appointment with my rheumatologist yesterday, and she prescribed me good old Prednisone to get through the rest of the pregnancy.

I have to say, I'm not thrilled about taking Prednisone, but it is considered fairly safe for pregnancy. What really bums me out, though, is that I haven't gone in to any sort of remission during pregnancy. I was really hoping to feel extra well for these nine months. But if I had to pick between having a good pregnancy with RA symptoms or a not so good pregnancy without RA symptoms, I'd definitely pick the former.

Now, I'm just hoping for enough relief with the Prednisone and that I don't have a major flare after giving birth. And really? Even on bad days, it's still worth it to know that I'm going through all of this so that I can meet my baby in December.